Going to church and states of consciousness

My mind has been on overdrive lately. Two things have COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY destroyed my world. One is the fact that Bill Cosby is probably a rapist. The other is that I have started reading the world section of the newspaper, again.

Along with this current intake of just the immense suffering of humanity at the hands of other humans, I have been thinking more and more about one simple, yet so complex question: WHY? Why the hell is there so much suffering?

I won't even go there. A more complete question may be: If life really is a reflection of ourselves and I am so emotionally upset, disturbed, depressed, knocked down just hearing and realizing that these horrible things are occurring, what does that say about me?

Meanwhile I have been re-watching some of bipolarorwakingup's YouTube videos and reacquainting myself with his notions on levels of consciousness. According to him, and others, there is a stop on the consciousness path that is feudalism. Think back to feudal times, selfishness, destroying anyone in your path to get what you want. You get the idea. The idea that he poses is basically that if someone is living in a state of consciousness that is feudal in nature there is no possible way for them to make the leap to some sort of postmodern notion that they hurt themselves when they hurt others. Or even looking at their actions from a behavioral standpoint. For example, why do you rape and torture? What part of your childhood molded you into that person? It's just simply impossible to go there when you are at that state of consciousness. So the next step is: Traditional. Basically you send these people to church, have them give up themselves to a higher power and authority figure. That is what is, so called, "next". (always keeping in mind that there are truths and value to all states of consciousness and there is no real hierarchy).

So I loop back around to what exactly I am to learn from how I feel like someone has taken a baseball bat to my knees and I cannot get up. I am embodying a feudal mindset to some extent. In that it has taken over my mind and set up shop. It might be the other side of the coin, but it's still the same damn coin, right? Maybe this is a moment for me to realize that as "evolved" as I may think I am, that it is time for me to "go to church", so to speak. Give myself up to higher power, etc. Is that what I am to learn from this? It was just an interesting thought to help us all use our intense emotions as an internal tool for our own self growth. So as much as I want to round up all the people on this planet hurting others for their own sick gratifications and seriously send them to church instead, today, I am going to think about sending myself to church and see where that leads me.